


He Wanted To Forget

by illonimo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, F/F, F/M, Gen, No happiness only angst kjhgf, Reader is gender neutral, there is no happiness here kjhhjk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25095583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illonimo/pseuds/illonimo
Summary: You wanted to die loving him & he wanted to forget.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	He Wanted To Forget

You wanted to forget his face, forget the way his lips felt against yours and the feeling of his skin on yours. You wanted to forget that the man you loved would never be in front of you again, that you’d never look into those chocolate orbs you loved so much, that you never would see his smile again. But it was all of those this that caused a smile to break across your blood crusted lips.

_You only wanted to forget because it was going to be hard as hell to let him go._

You knew this was possibly a one-way trip, but it was a necessary win you needed over the First Order. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t look him in the eyes as you said your goodbyes, your squads splitting apart to cover more area on ground. Your group had been ambushed and cornered, most of the squad dying or pulling back. You had been pulled back after sustaining some wounds, one member of your squad sat not far from you, focused on the radio the other focused on your wounds.

“Captain Y/N!” Your squad member focused on your wounds tried to pull your attention back to them and you soon saw a familiar curly hair in your vision. Tears streamed from the corners of your eyes and you felt a familiar hand in yours.

_**No, you didn’t want this, you didn’t want to put him through this.** _

“Y/N! Y/N!” Poe’s voice seemed to pull you back to reality, his voice getting louder until you could finally hear the noise around you. You could hear the blazing fires around you, the fighting and above all the panic in Poe’s voice. His hands were gripping the exposed skin of your shoulders, you could feel his nails on your skin as he shook you lightly.

“Poe,” Your voice cracked, your throat closing slightly at the look of desperation on his face, the fear in his eyes. Your hand reached up weakly, nearly falling but being caught in his as he helped you place it on his face. Your fingers wiped weakly at the wetness on his face, your own tears welling in your eyes.

“Poe,” You voice cut off with a crack, your lungs burning for more air.

“Shhh, don’t talk, you need to save your energy.” He whispered quietly, shushing you.

“I love you, Poe.” You spoke softly, ignoring his warning. This was it, this was all you were going to get and you were going to give him all you had. “I love you so much. I should have been more careful, I should have stayed in cover.” His eyes widened and you took as deep of a breath as you could, your head rolling back slightly, your hand falling. You were so tired, you wanted to sleep.

“Y/N?! Y/N, no. No.” You felt his shake you, his hand coming to cradle your neck, making you look up at him through your swimming vision. “You stay with me okay? You stay with me.” His other hand came to caress your face, keeping your vision focused on him. “Stay with me please.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Your words were quiet, almost scarily so as you could see the panic in his eyes. Tears streaked down your face and you felt him lightly brush them away.

“I love you, I love you so much.” He whispered, his words only reaching you.

“I don’t want to go, not yet.” You cried quietly, a small sob racking through your body. Pressed his forehead to yours, his breath mixing with your as his own tears hit your face. His lips hovered over yours and you moved just enough to connect them. If you were going to die then you were going to die happy, you were going to die in the man, who you loved, arms. You were going to die kissing him through the tears, the blood, and the pain.

**_You were going to die loving him._ **

Tears and blood mixed with your kiss, mixed with the love and agony that was coursing through both of you. This was the last time you would see him, kiss him, feel him. Your mind was getting mudder as you opened your eyes just barely. The last thing you wanted to see was him, the last thing you wanted was-

Poe froze as your body went limp in his grasp, your lips falling from his. His eyes opened, meeting your glossy, empty gaze. Pain wretched through his body, a sob racking through his body as he held you close to him. Words formed but then fell from his lips, unable to reach the block in his throat.

Looking back down at you with a teary gaze his pushed you blood crusted hair from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead, them one to your still lips.

His lips quivered as he whispered reassurances in your ear, hoping that somehow it would bring you back.

**_But nothing would and he couldn’t help but want to forget._ **


End file.
